Stickers

BEHOLD! These are no mere adornments, but thrice-damned 3-inch GLOSSY SEALED SIGILS! They cling to your pathetic worldly possessions with the tenacity of a soul bound to the infernal abyss.

WATERPROOF? Ha! The tears of a thousand weeping angels could not dissolve these accursed stickers. They laugh in the face of moisture, mocking the very essence of your fragile, perishable existence.

GLOSSY? Their sheen reflects the cold, uncaring void, a mirror to your own hollow, empty heart. Each sticker is a portal to a realm of polished, malevolent perfection.

THREE INCHES OF PURE, UNADULTERATED TERROR! They are the perfect size to brand your water bottles, laptops, and any other mundane object you wish to infuse with a touch of infernal majesty.

USE THEM WISELY, MORTAL. Or not. Your insignificant choices mean nothing in the grand, cosmic scheme. But at least your worldly trinkets will be waterproof and shiny as the obsidian throne of the netherworld.

BUY NOW. OR SUFFER ETERNAL GLOSS-LESSNESS.